Filed under: good
You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.
Filed under: good
Had an sms conversation last night. The day after I talked with friends about the conversation. And this is what one of them thinks.
Filed under: good
Okay, something is definitely interesting about this guy. I never thought that he could do something without being asked to do it. But he sure did something on his own will. And I am so amazed I don’t know what to say.
Filed under: bad
I think it’s stupid of me to be so muddle-headed just because I’m with certain people when I actually can stay calm and mature if I want to. I think this is some sort of regression. I easily revert to my muddle-headed self when there are people who can cover up for me. Mostly this sort of regression occurs when I feel that I can’t take care of myself because I’m lonely. That is so stupid. I have been living on my own for years, and I’m still alive.
But I’m feeling that this regression has gone too far this time. What to do…
Filed under: bad
So now I will explain why all the emo’ing.
Heartbroken? Sort of. Actually, pretty much. I have been feeling for a guy for a while, and he did not turn my feelings down. So we started dating. Went to the park. Went to the beach. Went to concerts. Watched animals. Climbed mountains and sat at the top of them, looking at the great views. And we took long walks, oh, I wished they lasted forever.
Problems? Of course there were. He couldn’t call me. Hardly ever. He did that once, and that’s it. But that time, that single call… that made me so happy. I didn’t want to let go, hoping that he would call me again sometime. I waited. Two days… five days… and it ended up that I called him. And then I waited again. Five days… ten days… two weeks… and I ended up calling him again. And above that, he could never plan to see me. He always had to tell me that “maybe we’ll see each other, if we are lucky.” I felt rejected by that. But we mostly ended up seeing each other. Well, isn’t that great, but we were actually only seeing each other two-three times per month. So I told him: “Let’s end this. Leave me, before it’s too late for me to let go.” He didn’t seem to care that much anyway, whether I was with him or not. But he always pulled me back. “No, I want to keep seeing you. I want to be with you, get to know you.” And I was hooked.
Until one day, when he told me that he might not be too ready for a relationship. He had a lot in his mind that he had to take care of, and taking me in would be a burden for him. So in the end, he chickened out. But it was too late. For me, it was too late. But all I could do was watch him from the distance. I couldn’t get near him.
So, it’s emotime.
Filed under: good
For the first time, I’m actually enjoying being lonely. It has been three weeks filled with activities and today I’m finally able to sit back at home, enjoy some anime watching and cook! I haven’t cooked for ages! I was so tired of being with people that I ran from a couple of guys that were a little bit more interested than just to be friends with me. They laughed at me.
Närcon… should I go there? :| I still haven’t decided, and it’s soon!
