Filed under: good
I know it’s ugly, especially my eyes.
My friend and I were out shopping today. I bought loads of stuff.
Filed under: good
So this weekend I’ve been having three people staying over at my place. It has been fun. I hardly ever have people staying here, since most of the gothenburgers think that I live in the middle of nowhere. That’s so not true.
What did we do then? Well, we slept, watched Fear and loathing in Las Vegas (I slept while watching it…) and we were partying. I’m not the type who likes loud music and so, but it has been fun when you had the right people going with you. Unfortunately, I met this very slimy guy Mikael, who comes from Alingsås. He tried to seduce me by forcing me to sit on his lap and kissing me, telling me how cute I was. I already told him once that I wasn’t interested (he then left me, went dancing with another girl but then he came back, and I think the new girl was jealous since she danced beside us, far away from the dance floor), and I yelled “NO, I don’t want to” to him and tried to run away, but it didn’t help. I finally managed to escape and I fled the scene with my (drunk) friends. Tried to get some sleep that night, but my sleep was either disturbed by someone snoring extremely loudly beside me or by nightmares about that slimy guy.
However, despite that (sort of) horrible experience, this weekend has been among the best. Thank you lendai (Daniel), Katt (Karl/Carl) and Remix (Angelica/Angelika) for staying over at my place, making this weekend so worth delaying all my homework.
Some pictures from this weekend:
I have to study now, and school starts in twenty minutes… ._.
Filed under: bad
My finances is going all the way down. It’s not that I don’t have any money, it’s just that I have so much to pay for.
1) My books. Thousands of them, and only for this semester! I’ve bought only three of them and they cost me 700 SEK already.
2) My glasses. I’ve been in need of a pair of new ones since beyond recall. But what do I do? I wait for a miracle.
3) My cellphone. Suddenly it just died. Well, it works now, but what am I going to do if it dies again?
My relations to people is worse than ever. I don’t even want to talk to some of them anymore. I’m so tired of them.
I’m so tired of everything. Take me to a deserted island and bury me there.
Filed under: good
The first picture shows my Christmas presents from Albin: A pink seal, a Hello Kitty game and a Rocobo. Love them all <3. The bird on the back was my gift for Albin. It sings by getting energy from the sun.
The second picture is my new dress. I really liked it when I tried it on, so those 398 SEK was almost worth it. Bought a pair of shoes, too. Will wear them tomorrow on my first afterwork ever.
Filed under: good
I’m all in! Will study Englishfrom next week, and was invited to the registration today :D.
And can you believe it? I was actually exercizing today! My Hello Kitty alarm clock went off and played classical and children’s songs for 25 minutes while I was out on my powerwalk. I think my neighbours hate me now, because one of them is hammering on the floor. I’m not surprised though, I could hear it when I was outside my door. Why do people invent alarm clocks that can never stop until someone pushes the button?
A Hello Kitty alarm clock for you, my dear neighbours!
Filed under: bad
Will I ever get into my education? What if I don’t? What would I do? Tell mum? Then how long would I survive?
A picture to fill up this post.
Filed under: bad
VHS decided to erase my application for studies English. That means trouble when applying for loan, meaning that I won’t receive any money this month if I don’t fix this fast. Why do they always put me into trouble? They have been mocking with me ever since I contacted them. If they really hate me so much, why not send torpedoes to shoot me to death?
Filed under: bad
How can all good things come to an end when nothing good is actually happening to me?
First of all, I visited my parents during Christmas and New Year (which is the reason why I haven’t been so active here on wordpress). I slaved for my mother and had a fight with my father. Again. That’s because father is, well, feeling better and becomes all blown-up again, which I can’t stand. I hate when he says that I can’t do anything and that I know nothing. It’s not that I think I’m so much better than him, but I’m not S T U P I D, for whatever’s sake! Why does he always have to make me upset? And mother… she thinks I’m a human robot. I can do anything she asks me to do because I was created so by pieces of… steel and such. No, mother, I’m not God, sorry.
Second of all, I have this stupid exam going on. No, three of them. And I haven’t written a word! Am still reading the books that I swore to myself to never read again. But I have to.
Third of all, I’m not looking forward to the school projects going on. It seems like there’s no progress going on. Ever. And when that is finished, we’ll begin our first term of English, which will be going on for 1 ½ year! The thought of reading mountains of books as breakfast, lunch and dinner for 1½ year make me want to bury myself in the ground. Just think of all the exams that I’ll be facing! Suddenly, studying isn’t funny anymore. It never has been since I graduated, and I have a feeling that it never will.
Fourth and last. I’ve gotten to like my class, but soon we’ll go our own ways. Except for some of them that also will study English. One of them has become a good friend to me, and that’s great, really. But because he’s a male and I’m a female, we are always mistaken as a couple. No! Just because we hang out during class (we don’t see each other outside of class) doesn’t mean that we are a couple! Besides, I have no particular feelings of love for him. I just want him as a friend. And maybe one day we’ll become really good friends.
But lately, he’s been talking to me as if he wants to be more than just a friend. I thought that he might want to become boyfriends and girlfriends with me, and I couldn’t sleep because I was worried about how he would react if I turned him down. However, I was 50 % right, because he really wanted to be more than just a friend, but not in a relationship. How would you feel if someone told you something like that? Well, that made me feel like a doll. Wanting all the benefits from a relationship without giving, that’s just ridiculous. I’m human! I can’t do such things without involving feelings. Besides, no pain, no gain. Okay, this isn’t helping me at all, so I won’t talk much more about it. I still like him as a friend, maybe I like him too much as a friend, because I really don’t want to lose him. We will study for another five years together and it would be very sad if we were trying to avoid each other. And at least he was honest, unlike some other guys. So I guess we’ll still be just friends, maybe forever. Good friends? I don’t think so.
BUT THAT’S NOT THE CASE! The case is that I’m starting to doubt my own existence. I think that’s called “losing yourself”. Am I just a toy for everyone to line up to play with? I want to turn them all down and live alone for the rest of my life. But I don’t want to hurt their feelings, so everything is a mess and I let everything remain so. Besides, I do want to have a family in the future. But maybe I shouldn’t.
