Filed under: good
I felt that I needed some change, so I made a new banner. I’m not really familiar with photoshop, so if you can make a better one, please tell me right away!
Okay, so I woke up this morning (afternoon, the banner took forever to make) and found something that was so… wrong! Want to know more?
Beginning with some background information. This special person is a lover of nature and mankind. He/she loves horses, dogs and probably a lot of other animals, too. Thinking that the world isn’t equal enough (obviously) and that the language is a tool for sexual discrimination, he/she goes against the flood to create a society of, first and foremost, gender equality. This person is totally against cruelty to animals (and experiments on animals, too?) which is why he/she refuses to eat meat that isn’t demanded. A true friend and lover of nature and mankind, yes, but not anymore!
Special person: I bought a jacket made of fur today =(
Special person (continuing): I feel terribly bad, but I’ll get over it ^__^
[SILENCE]
Someone else: Go get some values, mate, I thought you were against cruelty to animals etc.
Special person: I do have my values, but I know, I feel terribly bad
Me (thinking): Then why did you buy it you…
Special person (self-defending): But the purchase was for good deeds, since I bought it from the Salvation Army.
Yes, a small amount of people will have a better life, but that’s supporting the fur industry, so will the animals have a better life? I’m sure they won’t. And then I began thinking: how could the Salvation Army even sell things like that? They should have better values.
So, ladies or gentlemen (or both) of Multimoral, time to create your own society of multimoral to see how far you can go?
Filed under: bad
Well, today I got the evaluation of my examination, and they think it sucked. Okay, they never said it really sucked, but they wanted me to rewrite some (a lot of, crazily many, gazillions of, loads of!) things that just aren’t good enough. And I have until Thursday to do that. Wish me luck.
Filed under: good
I have to pay my bills… and make my evaluation report… and this and that… gah, too much to do!
Well, shirt happens. This is my new shirt, after going through rough pastels from photoshop:
Filed under: bad
I haven’t done anything! I am supposed to:
1) Send a picture of myself for a PowerPoint presentation on Monday
2) Read a groupmate’s work and
3) make an evaluation of it
4) Tell some people I love them
Instead, I’ve been doing chores for my mum and other things.
Monday: We went to the bank, because mum wants to take a loan again. It turned out that she couldn’t afford it, so she’ll forget about it. Right after that, we went to brother’s school to talk about my brother. I felt somewhat outside, but brother has really improved in school.
Tuesday: When I tried to work on my examination, my head was stuck and I decided to go see a friend instead. I don’t know if that was good or not, but it gave me new powers (or maybe the stress did, I don’t know). Then finally started working on that stupid examination, the one that I don’t feel ready to send away. But, thinking that I was late (deadline according to the schedule was 4.00 PM and I handed it in at 7.00 PM, but the teacher then told me after the sending that no, the deadline was 11.59 PM, so I felt sorry for myself).
Wednesday: Met Lisa, we went to town and looked for new spectacles for myself. Specsavers had really nice ones, but my calculations told me it wasn’t the case for now. You know, I have an incredibly bad sight, so only one glass costs me over 1000 SEK. Then let’s add the costs of the other glass, the required examination and the frames, my calculations say that they will cost no less than 4000 SEK. And I simply can’t afford that. Then mum forced me to go to the burial agency to ask about the costs for my grandmother if something would happen to her. I hated that. It felt as I was doing something really, really mean behind her back. The back of my grandmother, that is. Then I met father, sister and brother.
Thursday: Celebrated grandmother, all day long. No, bought a gift for her, hiking staffs for 400 SEK.
Friday: Emo’d all day. But I wasn’t at home anymore so that was okay. I hate to cry in front of my mum. I’m such a crybaby.
Saturday: Watched 60 minutes (about a pastor and Dubai), two Austin Powers movies (total waste of time) and The princess diaries 2 (which isn’t that bad at all, for a followup, that is).
But tomorrow (today, after sleeping) I’ll take care of everything! At least some of it… I’m so lazy ._. Oh, I hate responsibility.
EDIT: SHOOT! It’s my friend’s birthday today! And another friend turned 19 yesterday (27th), and I forgot to congratulate her! BLAH BLEH BLUH BLOH! I hate my memory!
Filed under: good
Please read the last part of “feelings overloaded” with care; it’s a good “boy”friend, and I prefer it that way, not a “real” boyfriend.
Filed under: bad
In times like these I’m getting confused about how my feelings actually work. Yesterday I was banned from Tobsan’s channel #tobsan (big ego demands big idiocy), so from now on I have no connections with him whatsoever (he is banned from #musikspel.se and #grodan, the channels that we both are in, but come to think of it, I have set him on ignore, so even though we were on the same channels I couldn’t possibly read what he was saying anyways). I’m not even feeling sorry for him, or for myself, even though I have been talking so much about wanting to be friends with him. But looking at the state we are in now (me being all wind up with all my surroundings and him being all…stupid), we’ll never be friends. And I’m not even sad about that. Instead, I’m mighty grateful that we never got too deep in our relationship, since he isn’t ready for one yet. BUT! If he one day would knock on my door and say “sorry I was sleeping and now I’m awake, please be my friend”, I’d gladly say “yes, let’s be friends”. Although that isn’t worth to even imagine.
This is so strange. One month ago I was all sad and down, feeling that I have lost everything, and now I have found other things to fill up my life with. Of course, it still feels like I’ve lost something, but that something is definitely not him. I can talk openly with my mother about him. “Mum, we’re not a couple anymore, and I don’t think it’s such a big deal, so it’s okay and I’m fine.” Father isn’t annoying anymore. He listens to me as if everything I said was my last words to him before he dies. I like the attention, but not the thought behind it. What if he really died…? Is that what he wants, as he always does? To be the one who is right?
Last night I dreamt about something very…different. Really. I know that something has been going on in my head about this very special person, but I could never imagine that it would go that far. Okay, are you ready? I was having this perfect relationship with this person and everything was going on so perfectly, so one day we decided to go one step further… fill in the rest. The rest of my dream is all details about that special moment of I don’t know what… pleasure? Happiness? Perfection? That perfect someone and that perfect relationship that I’ve been wishing for forever? For an instance when I woke up, I wanted to sleep more and dream about him again. Right, isn’t that silly? Okay, this is just a dream, I know, but when I begin to wonder why I dream about such things I’m getting all confused and, well, confused. Why do I dream about such things? Why do I even dream about H I M? We’ll never possibly be able to have a relationship anyways, no matter how perfect it is going to be. But I wonder how perfect a relationship can be when one lives on the other side of the earth, while the other is stuck here in Sweden, and when he keeps himself from falling in love with me… I don’t know. Funny thing is that a week ago he had the same dream about me. But I’m sure that we’ll forget about each other and go our own ways.
Why do I seem so heartbroken when I’m not? And why do I miss him so much?
Filed under: good
So, finally finished with the first edition of my examination, and I’m not really satisfied with it. But after all, that’s my first examination (ever) and the first edition of it, so I’ll get the chance to edit my errors and mistakes a week after.
By the way, sorry for not updating my blog. It’s difficult to get Internet back home in Katrineholm (I have to steal it from my mum’s computer and that’s not making her happy).
Filed under: good
Met Michael today (Tobias’ brother). We went to a second hand store, I found nothing there, so we decided to take a walk to my home instead. I checked my mailbox – finally, my Mecenat card has arrived. Then Michael gave me two gifts: two T-shirts from the Blood Bank. Michael happened to be a very enthusiastic blood donor, and decided to take me to the Blood Bank. I thought it was okay paying them a visit, so I packed my bag and went there with him. When we arrived there, he went to the receptionist and told her that I wanted to make a blood donation. I mean, I hate needles! I can’t possibly do that. I’m too fat for this, too. But well, doing something good for once is alright I guess, so I volunteered and let them make a blood examination on me. Unfortunately, it was hard for the nurse to even find veins that she could take blood from for the examination, and when she decided that she could give a try on one of them, she gave up because my blood won’t even reach the test tube.
“Your veins are too thin”, she told me. “I can’t possibly let you donate because your veins aren’t capable of it.”
Okay, I’m sorry that I’m saying this, but I was so happy when she told me that. I mean, veins too thin. Too thin. Sounds like something copied from a manuscript of Snow White. And for the first time of my life, I get the character of the princess! I’ve always got uninteresting and ugly characters such as Sneezy or Sleepy because I wasn’t beautiful enough to be the princess. And now I get to feel like one! Precious and beloved! Tonight I’ll dream about princesses and peas. Meaning that I won’t be able to sleep at all tonight. Maybe because there is a pea under my mattress? :D Well, who knows?
Filed under: bad
